Back Again?

It's been almost exactly a year... wow!

Do I have anything to say... Mmmmmm ... not right this minute, but I am sure I will come up with something cool.

Happy New Year! May it be the greatest year of all...

Sad Sad... Just found this out...

Trevor Butters 

Trevor Michael Butters, 28, died Saturday, Nov. 22, 2008, in Flagstaff.

Mr. Butters was born June 9, 1980, in Flagstaff, Arizona. His greatest passion in life was raising his 9-year-old son, Micah Fennessy-Butters. Some of his many other passions included hunting, fishing, hiking and enjoying the many things the great outdoors had to offer. He shared these passions greatly with Micah, friends and family as often as he could. He had an adventurous life and loved exploring the outdoors in Flagstaff and Portland, Ore. He touched many lives and will be remembered as a great father, son and friend. He was a cherished part of his family. He was loved wholeheartedly and will be missed deeply.

Mr. Butters is survived by his son Micah Fennessy-Butters of Flagstaff; parents Melanee Williams of Flagstaff and Les and Lynn Butters of Flagstaff; his son's mother, Erin Fennessy; sisters Heather Brown (Jonathan) of Fruita, Colo., and Tonya Butters of Flagstaff; his grandparents; numerous aunts, uncles, cousins and many wonderful friends.

Friends are welcome to celebrate and share Mr. Butters' memories with his family, Saturday, 2 - 4 p.m., at the home of Les and Lynn Butters, 3515 N Lost Creek Trail in Flagstaff.

The family requests, in lieu of flowers, donations be made to the Micah Butters Fund. Donations can be made at any Bank of America location.

________________________

This makes me incredibly sad. He was someone I grew up with in AZ. And he died the day before I got into Flagstaff for a visit for Thanksgiving. :(

STARTING OVER~~~~~~~~~~~~>

It's a new year... and I want to start over with everything. So you'll be seeing a lot more of me around these parts! ^_-

.::A Fallen Soul::.

James *Bulldog* Jerome Spence

Today is a gloomy day for everyone I know in Portland...

Last night (this morning) at 1am, My friend Paul took my dear friend James downtown to drop him off.

Just moments later, *Bulldog* was shot in the head, and rushed to the hospital with life threatening injuries.

I didn't hear this terrible news until I received a text from Carl at 6pm today at work.

It was hard to work the rest of the day knowing I wanted to break down and cry and rush to the hospital to support him.

I have so much love for ALL of my friends, and having something like this happen to someone you love and care for is just tragic! :'(

I'm overwhelmed with emotion.

I haven't heard full status of his passing, so I personally am going to believe he's still fighting.

But my mother told me the family took him off life support around 6pm tonight.

If he has passed: Rest In Peace my brotha, we all love you so very much!

May a new and wonderful journey start for you!

There was a last minute candle vigil where he got shot on 10th & Salmon tonight at 10pm. It was so amazing to see that so many people came out for this to support. I know there could have been more had it not been last minute, but there will be support for him if and when they have services.

I am thinking of writing something to say at the service. I really need to let people know that although this man may have had some fucked up past issues, he was and is still very loved, and made a huge impact on the scene with his jolliness, and smiles!

NO-ONE SHOULD EVER FORGET THAT SMILE!

I am greatyly saddened by this.

This month has been "Trying" and "Overwhelming".

I LOVE YOU BULLDOG!

YOU ARE A SAINT!

*song of the moment: Incubus - Nice to Know you

"Perspective pries your once weighty eyes and it gives you wings,

I haven't felt the way I feel today

In so long it's hard for me to specify

I'm beginning to notice how much this feels

Like a waking limb, pins and needles, nice to know you

Goodbye, nice to know you

Goodbye, nice to know you

Deeper than the deepest Cousteau would ever go

And higher than the heights of what we often think we know"

.::Another Noise::.

Saturday evening I had my music magazine interview on film. It was nervewracking, but the less than 10 minute chat was sweet, and fun.

I only hope I don't look or sound like an idiot when the time comes to view that film.

Bright lights on the face, give an overpowering feeling of "littleness".

Saturday was also the first Saturday I haven't gone out to party in probably over 4 months.
It was nice, but I was little overwhelmed with boredom and loneliness.

I got a lot done with my music though, and I actually started sorting and packing the mass amounts of shit I have to deal with before moving.

The world is an intense little place right now...

Where can I find you?

Where can I hide you?

I'm so lost, broken and misunderstood...

So alone, at home wishing I could...

Take a breath and whisk away...

And leave today for another day.

Maybe there's a light out there,

Maybe I can shake your hand and walk into the glare.

My heart's in love, my soul is numb,

I don't know if you'll ever come.

I'll take a look inside this glass,

and wait for the day to cease.

My eyes, they water, dripping fast,

I feel your so hard to please.

Make a wish on that star,

and dance the night away.

My love for you will always last,

I just hope your here to stay.

©2007 Rei

*song of choice today: Lowie - Clementi

There's a furious interaction between love and hate infiltrating my life at this time.

A relationship so strong, and bonded by such intense emotion, but yet pushing itself away from the intense amount of fear that is there.

I'm in love with a light.............

That's all I can say; and I don't much know how to explain it in any other way.

The light is strong, kind hearted, and warm. Yet totally afraid of the dark that might lye ahead........ which in any case... any light should be afraid... right?

The light is the biggest inspiration (next to my best friend) that I have in my life.

It's understandibly hard to make sense of the direction it may take me in.

I'm scared... feeling alone, and completely seperated. But when I stand in the light it heals me, makes me feel like I am human again.

I'm afraid it's going to hold me back from exploring "THE ME".

I guess only time will tell what this light will light up in my life.

Either way... I am escaping to Hawaii!

^_^

.::Bridge 2 Nowhere::.

Last night was so fantastically amazing!

The Bridge to Nowhere party....

I wasn't booked to play, but for some reason I had an idea that I would be anyways. Good thing all my tracks are still on Q's computer. Plus I dropped my new track I made yesterday.

The party was minimal as far as attendance goes, but it was all the super close homies. And a ton of us that are moving to Maui this year. WOOT!

Zack was there, and I haven't seen him in a long time. He totally gave me the run down on Hawaii, and offered to get a house with me, and a job over in Maui.
FUCK YA!
I'm really excited now. He's an amazing person, and I can't wait to move there to start building a better friendship with him.

I plan to leave November 15th, if don't get the flight attendant job I want.
I have a hold back as well.... this awesome friend of mine.... I will miss him so much if I move.
:(

There was an Elk at the Bridge, that let me pet him, kiss him, & hold him. Such an amazing powerful creature. I fell in love.
I have photos of him.

Here is a link to The Bridge Photos!