A confused rainy day for the sheltered little one...

It's time I FINALLY express all the confusions, all the stipulations; all the ups and downs, all the rights and wrongs and encounters my life has been throwing at me me this past year in particular. I will care not of what the repercussions will be. It's time I talk about the things I have so desired to talk about. It's time for self therapy....
Left Hand: The hand that winds the clock that guides me through my waking dreams. The hand that holds everyone else's hand when they have fallen deep. The hand that is objective, logical, rational, & skilled at sequencing ideas...

The hand that set's the path I wish to be on, and propels me into a whirlwind of cyclones of ideas and configurations in life.

It's the hand that tells the stories of our lives, and has an obsessive need to be organized.

The left hand remembers everything. Numbers, letters, times, dates, smells, feelings, tastes, and sayings. It's a complicated structure of This and That, with a need to define itself at every single moment.

Right Hand: The hand that paints those beautiful pictures that it's too afraid to hold up and show everyone. The hand that enjoys clowning around, and making jokes. The hand that fantasizes and pleasures. The hand that dreams about things that will never happen; the one that makes dreaming seem surreal.

The absentminded freedom explorer. The spontaneous, unpredictable, philosophical, cat lover, whose heart for art overpowers her need to survive.

The right hand forgets important details, and keeps others waiting.
It's a holistic, synthesizing conundrum of music & bitter defaults, that lead into a better understanding of the world through silly displacement of geometry, and open minds.

Overall these two hands come together with mysterious form, in an Acid like Illusion. They bond with eachother knowing that no matter how distant each ones traits are, they will always come together in unity; making life seem like it's "whole".

I've come to realize that with each footstep on every day forward, is a new step toward becoming a new me. Just in the past few months have I come leaps and bounds in finding my true self once again.
For four years, the me that I always knew, had become stagnant, and lost.

Its nice to see her truly smile once again.
It's nice to be looked at, and told that I am beautiful again, by those I want to hear it from.

I've realized that the only true love, is the love in me.
"You can fall in love with many people, but you can only truly be in love if you love yourself."
I've heard that a million times, but only now has the light shined, and shown me, what that truly means.

I have steps to climb in the next couple of weeks. I have a lot to work out in my current relationships. I have a large canyon to jump as far as my future. But whatever the outcome, I know it will be better than what I have been holding on to for the past 4 or 5 years.

It's time for this bird, this RAVEN to be free and fly again.

*song of choice today: Nelly Furtado - I'm Like a Bird*